Gym Routine

Losing weight is a two-way street. You can only eat so healthy until you need to step foot into a gym, even if it is just walking on the treadmill for half an hour. Many ask me what my routine is at the gym but it has changed frequently to the point where my routine doesn't really matter as it is important to do what you feel is best for your body. Regardless of the amount of weights, intensity, length, etc.

Before we dive into what should be done, let me explain what I did exactly. As with most losing weight, the goal is to simply shed the pounds. People want to get rid of the fat as fast as they can (although it will take some time). In other words, the need to gain muscle mass isn't the immediate goal. For me, I was going to the gym simply to burn calories and eventually fat. I wasn't looking to body build at the time. It is crucial to know that losing fat and gaining muscle should not be done at the same time or else you'll be in the gym longer than you already are.

I walked/ran on the treadmill for 30/45 minutes or I would set a distance goal. After cardio, I would dedicate the rest of my time at the gym focusing in on strictly core exercises which is where a lot of fat is stored. From ab crunches to curls and planks. That is what I found to be most productive personally when all I wanted to do was lose fat.

Once I got down to a certain weight and started feeling more confident I started to expand upon my routine. I would increase my treadmill speed or add weight to my core exercises. Then came the point where I was ready to take a different approach. I got down to my lowest weight of 165 pounds and knew it was time to start building the muscle. There is only so much fat you can lose until you have to start bulking.

Since then, which was about a year ago, most of my routine now is on strength and conditioning and only a quarter is limited to cardio. What was hard fir me during this time was eating. In order to build muscle, you have to eat. That is a weird mentality to undergo because you just spent that past year watching what you eat to lose weight and now it is the opposite; watching what you eat to gain weight. That was absolutely hard for me because every time I increased my caloric intake I assumed it was just going to fat storage. My mindset has since changed.

The importance of this post is to say there is no right or wrong to working out or a gym routine (besides form on lifting). Just know that lose the fat before building muscle and don't try to imitate body builders' routines and just do what you feel is comfortable. Patience is a virtue as well. I started lifting in November of 2017 at 165lbs and now clock-in at 205lbs a year later.

Mental Challeneges: Severe Depression

As I mentioned in my previous post, BDD is more joke and t comes with consequences as well. One of them being depression. In my case, I have suffered from it since I started this journey in High School. One would think that with the weight loss it would get better but that, unfortunately, was not the case.

When you ask anyone who suffers with depression 'why' they are feeling the way they are, it is one of the worst questions to ask. The answer is simple. They don't know and that's the point of the illness. For me, I just don't know an exact reason but I think it can be narrowed down to the act of losing weight. Personally, I think that it has just been a handful on contributing factors that have kept adding weight to my shoulders. High School was tough for me, mainly due to my weight. It was not necessarily a bullying problem, but more of a lack of healthy friendships.

Then the transition between high school and college hit me hard. Form the time management to the academic work load. I didn't know many at my school and navigating my way through was difficult. I also didn't but down my hours at all in my job outside of school as a server/bartender and was pulling nearly 40 a week while in school fulltime. I overworked myself by trying to balance a healthy lifestyle in and outside of school. Even worse was my relationship within my household with my Dad. It was, and really never has been, fully healthy. It was the first month of Spring Semester when I hit rock bottom mentally and the depression soon flowed to the point where harming myself was in the question.

In April of 2017 I came out to my family and friends and it soon started to go uphill. I continued losing weight and before I knew it I was at the lowest I've been in over five or six years all the while finishing off my freshman year unscathed and finally started sophomore year; my best year yet in terms of relationships, academics, mental well being, etc. Then the BDD started to kick in even stronger and it came back. Now in December of 2018, I like to lead myself to believe I am doing rather sufficient in my academic career as well as outside of school with work and internships. The BDD is there, and always will be from maybe a year to ten years down the road. Only I will know. But the depression seems to be a long-lasting lingering effect in which I have yet to fully commit to seeing someone to address it for a handful of personal reasons. I battle with myself everyday because I know the right thing to do is see someone for more than a few days but always fail to commit in doing so.

Although
the depression still lingers on and off, which does significantly effect my academic school work, the key parts that get me through it all are my friends that I surround myself with, ESPECIALLY here at UNH Manchester. it is just important to keep in mind that weight loss is something people can not take lightly. BDD and depression are real results of committing to a life changing journey and not enough awareness is spread for it.

Mental Challenges: BDD

This is where my blog will take a rather serious turn on things and will dive into the extremely sensitive and harsh reality that is losing weight, and a lot of it. I, like many people, never thought Body Dysmorphic Disorder was an actual thing. I always told myself that there was no way a person can go through that or actual thing of such a radical thing. Nevertheless, I was dead wrong. It is a thing and a very serious one for that matter.

BDD is essentially the feeling one will encounter in which they don't see themselves in the body that they physically are in. For me, it is a constant struggle every single day of my life. I wake up in the mirror and I do not see my current physically self. Instead I see my old, 300-pound self. Those 'Before' pictures that were attached in my first blog post is what I believe that I look like all the time. The biggest problem of it all, I'll always see until the day comes in which I'm comfortable in my own body, which may take a very long time.

Typically, BDD occurs to those who lose a significant amount of weight in a rather unusual/short amount of time. It is important to note that is can very well easily happen to anyone who sheds some pounds, but the likelihood is not as high. The feeling of having BDD is so weird. I realize the size clothing I am buying or the compliments I get from people, but for some reason none of that impacts my view.

I constantly (almost 24/7, 365) worry about what I eat and how that with effect my body. The amount of times I need to ask a friend "Have I gained weight?" is out of control. This disorder explains many if my quirks, like the need for going to the gym for hours on end a day, limiting what I eat and when I eat, my sleep schedule, what I wear, etc. It is actually rather sad, but I don't feel or see myself in the physical body I am in right now. I am always taking extreme

care in how I want people to perceive my physical image that it is hurting other parts of me.

The only time I will see it, feel it, embrace it, show it, is when I am comfortable but that has yet to happen - and based on my current actions, it may be a while. Tonight I will go to the gym, go home and feel good about myself. However, when I wake up and look at myself in the mirror, all I will see is 300 pounds, long hair, bushy eyebrows, and High School all over again. it is a cruel disorder that truly takes a toll on oneself physically and mentally. It is an unfortunate truth that with BDD comes depression. In my case, I have a severe case of it. That will be spilled in my next post.

The Changing Environment

High School, college, and most of one's young pre-twenties life could be a rather rough one in regards to friendships, relationships, and more. A typical High School has its cliques and sometimes - in a different aspect - in college as well. How your treated and treat people will leave a lasting impression on your interactions with those certain people for the years following graduation.

For me, however, the environment and interaction between myself and those I've known over the past several years have greatly changed and is in large part of the weight loss. It is important to note that this doesn't strictly include old classmates or friends you may know. it very well could expand beyond that. This blog spot, more specifically, is to address how people change around you based on the body image one has.

Since losing the weight, people that were complete a**holes in High School will try and reconnect with you like you've known each other for a decade. There are some that you may have had a falling out with that will apologize for something they did years ago. There is a bigger light to shed on this massive problem and that is how obese people are treated and viewed upon in public. People don't want to associate themselves with you or would rather be cordial with others. There were people I went to High School with that I never held a conversation with, but once I debuted my new 'look' if you will, things changed. It is has if being fat isn't good enough for them. Being the 'fat kid' in every friends group gets old and you will soon realize that they're laughing at you, not with you.

This goes for not just those who are on the large side, but those with different skin colors, accents, whether they're abled or disabled, who they love, what they wear, etc. For some strange, frustrating reason, society has painted this picture on peoples' minds of what it should be, not what it can be. The lack of respect for some people is just mind-boggling. Diversity and inclusion is so important and until you're faced with it, the lack of understanding why it is will linger.

The Costs...literally

There are many costs to losing weight, such as time and effort. However, what many don't have a knowledge of is the literal monetary costs behind losing weight. No, I'm not referring to weight loss plans or dietary supplements with a 'virtual' trainer and meals delivered via US Mail.  I'm talking about your closet! From pants and shirts to belts and coats. As anyone understands, when you lose weigh, you lose size as well. A decrease in your shoulder broadness, waist size, inseam, chest size, and maybe even show size.

For those who don't set a goal of a target weight and just want to shed some pounds in general, this is where it'll hit you hard the most. In my case, I wanted to just lose weight and I realized my target weight would be reached whenever I feel happy in my body. This is where the $$$ cost plays a part. Once your XXL shirt and 42 pants are too big, you'll go out and buy new, smaller sizes. Then in a months time those clothes you just bought are too big forcing you to go out once more. Before you know it, two months later and your clothes from your second round of shopping are too big... AGAIN! That is the problem. Once you got down to a weight that your comfortable with you need to buy new clothes. However, you're so stuck I that healthy routine of yours that you can't help but lose more weight because = by now - it's easier for you and has become a part of your routine.

I need more than two hands to count every time I needed to go buy smaller jeans or shirts. When I got down to 200 pounds I figured I would be plateauing there because it looked good on me. Before I knew it, only three weeks after doing another round of shopping, I was down to 185 pounds and that makes a huge difference in one's physical structure. Many people are surprised when I tell them how much money it costs to lose weight naturally with no online or TV-advertised diet/working out plan. Many overlook this aspect of it because they never expect it to be a problem. Trust me, I never expected clothes would be a huge problem until I needed textbooks for school and looked at my checking account balance.

My tip: Everyone is going to go through this. Even during the process of it all you'll need clothes to fit while you're transitioning. Stay away from the mall, outlets, and other name brand stores and head to discount clothing stores with just as good quality. Burlington Coat Factory, Ma
rshalls, TJ Maxx, Goodwill, Salvation Army.